You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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