i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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