I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
