I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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