you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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