I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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