theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize