a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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