It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
