it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
