it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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