I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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