so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
