She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
