dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Houston, we have a squirter
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
