Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
