I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize