I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
What a fucking waste of an outfit
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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