No more Irish car bombs ever.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
