Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize