fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
