We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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