I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
