Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
