Plan B is the new Plan A
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
