so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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