Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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