She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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