i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
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i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
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my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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