He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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