Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
