Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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