There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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