if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
