we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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