Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
