sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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