So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
