Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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