Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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