Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
