i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
