I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize