I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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