Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
