pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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