She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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