He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I booty called her while she was in labor.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
