put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
