i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
