he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
