it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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