Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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