That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
