They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
sarcasm needs its own font
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
