if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
well I can't set my house on fire every night
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
