You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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