Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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